says.

We learn love from our family, from our parents..
We see how beautiful they support each other and stays together in any kind of season..
We learn love from romantic movies or tales..
We see how sweet a man sacrifices everything for his soul mate..
We learn love from the streets..
We see how lovey-dovey couples around their corners, talk with their eyes and bound hands..
We learn love from God..
We see how someone Great has taken care of our life, even though we never meet him in 3D figure

When it’s our turn to love,
We learn that love is not as easy as we have seen before..
We learn that love is giving more, and accepting more
We learn that love is to understand,rather than to force
We learn that physical touch is a sign of trust, rather than just creating chemistry
We learn that love is to be sincere, and not asking for returns
We learn that love is about faith, that shapes the commitment
We learn that love is a verb, rather than just a feeling in the air

Sometimes we want to give up in loving, just because of the irritating part..
it feels like love has captured you into a world that you never expected before..
It’s not love that you want to give up, it’s the human things that bothers more: hurt, jealousy, expectation, worry, selfishness, ambition
Walk your heart to the love world, and bring a piece of your part, into your world..
Love should be in you, and you trust to be in Love
You have to let go a piece of yours, and receiving a new piece from love..
Love should become a part in you, and a part of you in love..
The faster you let go the piece, the quicker it will become part of yours
Don’t put your whole-self in the love world, your small human brain cannot cope with the great things about love..
I’d rather walk my heart to the One who is created by love, where love comes from..
Then, I shall not question more about love than I shall do more in love..

“Are we counting forward or backward?”

It’s the last day of 2011. We number it as the 365^th day or so.  We named it Saturday, as we are sure there will be Sunday tomorrow. We call it December because November has passed, and another month will follow.  The Aztecs, Julian or Gregorian calender, they are optimistically counting the days as: forward. When it has reached the end of 2011, it is assured that there will be 2012. You sure?

 “People count days optimiscally, but gaining not even a second to their times. A day is not getting brighter, but darker in the night time…”

Backward and forward. Where are we going? Where am I actually heading?

I used to be part of them who follows the forward path. The people of “January, February, March, and so on..” and the people of “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and so forth..”

Today, I have the thought that the days are actually going backward. It’s not “another year to pass”, but “a year left”.

Where’s the optmistic-mania side of me? Haha.

“What’s in your mind when the clock shows 23.00?”

As for me, time is deceitful.  You feel like you have owned 23 hours in your day, but is it? 23 hours has been added to your lifetime, but you don’t gain more. You have one more hour before the day ends.  You have less time to live.

Backward and forward. Where are we going? How much time do we have?

When I have less time in my days, I would like to stop for a while and think about the future. I like when Churchill says:  “The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see.” How if I try to look backward?

(backward)

A few months backward, I faced the moment to choose. To choose, with more responsibility in me self. I chose to struggle with my thesis. I chose to finish my study. And to choose my future path. I took times to figure out what my passion is. I chose to follow my passion and decided to choose teaching at a school.

 (forward)

 A tweet from my best friend, Cherika, reminded me of how  I should be grateful for what I had before: “@cherikanh: Been thru hard times and hit by so many irritating questions in 2011, But I’m glad that I finally passed that moments. Right, @sayshio” I should second her. Before going farther to 2012, I shall be thankful for all that has been given in my life.

I have so many hopes to pursue in the coming days. I am excited to see the face of 2012. I have no glimpse of sight how it will be. Days might be unpredictable, but they are predictable in some ways. When I look backward, I could see that there will always be lessons to learn. There will always be bitter times, the-end-of-the world times, careless times. There will always be rainbow days, butterfly-in-your-stomach days, winning days.

To be thankful, to humbly hoping,  and keep going.

Time may be deceitful, but it takes the wise people go forward.

Please be optimistic, but stay wise. 

“As we look upon the sky, remember that we should hope as high as the sky.

As we look down, remember that we should keep walking on the path that we believe in.

As we feel tired, bored, or have nowhere to go, remember that there is a greater picture of our life. The Painter is adding dots and colours to our life, and we can always trust in Him”

                                                             (the Saturday sky, sketched in 31Dec’ 11)

In one chilly afternoon, she shared this story. In a homey coffee shop, she told this from a piece of her memory file in last June.

Here is a she. She just wants to share a story. And I am helping to write this story for her. A story that’s been preoccupied her mind for quite many times. Not saying that she wants to get rid of the story out of her head or just to remember the good old memory. It seems that it would be good  if this story is poured into a writing, just to keep a nice record of something, something about…

 what we did last summer.

Saying HI to strangers won’t harm you

On the first day, a group of wonderful people met each other. In less than an hour, she met  two Sarah. First, she found the warm Helvoigt girl, she said that she would be her co-partner for the rest of the program. Next, she met this super friendly Maddy, talking about her study in English literature. After that, she met a good looking girl, name’s Tiana.  In the next couple of minutes, she found herself sitting beside a beautiful woman (and her name is literally beautiful) in a train and talking about some interesting topics. Then, she moved to another seat with bunch of girls (Annelis, Tasha, Monda, Yunike, Abigail, Lidia, Yesti, Velycia – some were younger than others, even though all of their faces looked the same young (Haha).  It was not even a day yet, but she had too many names  already. But never too many to be remembered.

Great humility in a small vilage…

A kitchen. Poor lighting. Dirt under her feet. Chicken running around the kitchen. Cow moo-ing beside the kitchen. Limitation.

A woman was cooking. Cooking something that somehow would taste not nice. But first impression failed the real fact. It was  a very nice vegetable soup, with fried soybean cake (tempe), and chili sauce. A meal served with great humility and sincere smile. Where did she find this? In a small village, a warm village called Keji.

This ordinarily new experience was shared with Shelvoigt, Steffi and Elsha.

Devotional Life, Heart for Nations, Anxiety,Making Decisions, Group Sharing

She might be judged to be old enough to know all that important lessons. She had heard them before, but never that close to be reminded and refreshed about things she should apply. About who she is in front of the Great Creator, about grace that surrounds her life, about living with others. One thing she remembered the most was a session by Meredith, a charming woman whose married to David Billingslea, a wise man with sort of Adam Levine’s trait. She shared about anxiety and how grace is actually our power to let go the anxiety.

 She had all the sessions together with other young  participants. She could see excitement and enthusiast coming from their eyes and those were very obvious. They were lucky to have heard all of this in their young age, she thought.

Frisbee, Ambassador Mary, English Debates, Waterfall, Gamelan Day, , Rice Field, Story Cubes, Fun Night

Summer and fun are always perfect match. She tots found the cool beans experience during the program. The first day, the CAndy couple introduced a cute-yet-weird ambassador called Mary. Still on the first day, Daniel,  the Frisbee man from Colorado, had the cool initiative to play frisbee with the others. Colorado also brought  a talented guy name Matt. He and hisability to juggle with balls and the punch the air style were memorable.

 The other day, she and the others enjoyed playing Story Cubes with a man called Nick. He was an extraordinary funny guy, without giving any hard effort to be funny. Impressive.

On a not-so-hot day, they had hiking day to a waterfall site. She could hardly forgot how one man could be so amazingly energetic and singing along the way . She believe his name was Greg. Until now, she is still amazed  how Greg could have such many songs in his brain memory.  During those fun moments, Pak Jim and Bu Carry were the two charming couple who encouraged the whole team.

It was really a fun summer and even more fun because it was closed with Fun Night. She remembered sharing the stage with Yosua Adi, a charismatic man who was trying to sound like Batman.

Oh and don’t forget that summer with Luke and Dian. Dian with his silli-ness and Luke with his not-so-silly acts but ended up being silly fun.

The Girls and The Boys

Also the girls and the boys, they followed the whole scheduleenthusiastically. They added the fun into its perfect package. Maybe because of the Jangkrik boys (Widi, Benaya, Simon) or the two piano man, Jonathan and Daniel? Or maybe because of Astri was always there to take their pics, or the Joker Godwhin? Or the existence of Musi group? Well, each of them did make the fun even merrier…

Laugh could heal your illness…

After too much laughs, photo sessions,  and rain drops, she went back from a handicraft market. Something went wrong with her imune system. She was stuck in bed for a while. And she would never forgot how Melody, a sweet girl (who is not  that sweet when she fights for Liverpool) could bring her back into the good mood. That night was also spent with Mas Soni, the gentleman. Together they tried to prepare a session, while being ‘supported’  by Austin with his creative study break..watching  the ‘saxophone man ’ video. Until David came to remind that their laugh was not so much needed in the middle of that peaceful night.

There were more names who brought all the fun: Tante Indah, Om Edu, Mba Puji, Mas Rudi, Mba Kartin, Tante Siwi, and the others. Many memorable names with great personalities. They were all there in that program, so called Summer English 2011.

Today, she misses the experience yet being so thankful for those moments.

And yes, I should agree with her.

She hopes, and I do too, that you still remember what we did last summer. As she captured some memorable moments, we hope that you still safe yours as well.

Maybe someday, we could exchange our files, when we meet again…somewhere, under this  blessed sky that the Creator has made for us.

 “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

hmmm sepertinya post tumblr. beberapa saat terakhir banyak mengangkat topik ulang tahun. 

hari ini, saya sendiri ingin mencoba berkontemplasi (baca: menggalau) mengenai topik ini. hehe. ada yang menarik dari kosa kata bahasa Indonesia untuk menggambarkan hari kelahiran, yaitu: ulang tahun. berbeda dengan birthday, yang maknanya hari kelahiran.  mungkin ini juga yang mewariskan perbedaan budaya birthday dan ulang tahun. kalau yang versi pertama, biasanya dirayakan, kalau yang kedua juga begitu. hmm. oke. joke yang gagal Sio! coba lagi! 

tapi, saya tetap ingin menulis sesuatu tentang ini….

“ulang”

ada sesuatu yang di ulang dan bukan sekedar ber tambah. kalau bertambah, ya, memang makin banyak bagian yang diterima. tapi berulang, bukan berarti semakin banyak waktu yang tersedia. 

“ulang”

 seperti ingin mengingatkan bahwa, ada saat di mana kita (esp. saya) harus diam dan merenung sejenak, melihat apa yang sudah lewat di belakang dan apa yang ingin dicapai di depan… 

“ulang”

ada waktu yang seolah-olah bisa diulang. padahal waktu-waktu yang lain tidaklah mungkin diulang. tapi momen “ulang” tahun ini bisa diulang, satu kali dalam satu tahun. betapa berharganya momen ini ! 

“ulang”

terpikir juga kalau kata “ulang” ini berarti reminder bahwa waktu bukan terulang karena sekedar dorongan detik dan jam. bukan hanya karena bulan Mei harus berganti dengan Juni. tapi karena ada masa yang terus berganti…dan untuk dipertanggungjawabkan..

dan ketika hari ini, diberikan saat untuk (meng)ulang tahun, saya ingin mencoba untuk memanfaatkan hari ini sebaik-baiknya (seperti revisi Bab 4 haha *krik)….. karena hari ini adalah lukisan yang pernah digambar sejak kemarin, dan hari esok adalah lukisan yang saya gambar hari ini :)

saya (kok jadi resmi yah?) bersyukur untuk DIA yang tidak pernah berhenti mengarahkan tangan saya untuk melukiskan hari yang saya lalui dengan warna-warna terbaik yang ada di tangan saya..sekalipun saya hampir menyerah, karena seolah-olah semakin hari saya bingung gambar apa yang sedang saya buat? Tapi, kata si Doi, “percaya aja!” :)

untuk Bapak dan Mama, dan 2 adik saya yang nakal (haha) Brain Dior dan Nania, yang selalu menghargai lukisan yang saya buat, seberapa pun kacaunya gambar itu…

untuk sahabat-sahabat saya Ika, Evita, Danisa, Leo yang sejak dulu terus setia (catat: setia) mendukung hari-hari dari masa labil sampai masih labil…

sahabat hidup saya di Bandung…terima kasih untuk Cherika, Cita, dan Mario..sohib-sohib berharga yang masih rajin menanggapi berbagai kegejean saya..

dan tentunya kheseus untuk Eda Wana, Hanan dan Wulan :) yang selalu ramah tamah sumringah dengerin curhatan saya..dan mengingatkan saya untuk kembali ke jalan yang benar hihi

begitu juga untuk Evelyn, Jeje, Berla, Bang Sam, Kintan, Bimo yang sudah rela membagi sebagian dari cat warna terang mereka untuk hari-hari saya belakangan ini..

terima kasih untuk Citra, Dwi, Titin, Chyntia,Yani, Mayang, Yola…juga kepada para Spa: Ka Dwi (kepalasuku), Keffi, Atis, Selani, Tice, Christin, dan Ucik (tetangga Spa) haha yang menambahkan gambar keluarga mini yang heboh! di lukisan saya…

keluarga extension sayah (meminjam kutipan Berla): Tasha, Yanti, Annelis, Ivan, Dian, Agus, dan yang sudah disebut juga di dalam post ini..

untuk teman-teman yang sangat baik, mewarnai pagi pertama saya di umur 17! (ingat itu woi) Veby, Acy, Ogi, Iskandar, Jo, Muncul…makasiih yah lumayanlah terharuu hahaha eh ini pertama kali nya saya di surprise-in loh :D

kemudian, untuk Yosua Adi..yang sudah menjadi paket lengkap (teman ngomel, tempat ngeluh, sahabat, abang, pemerhati) yang sangat sabar *ehm* dan membagikan warna spesial di lukisan saya *ehm ehm* 

daftar ini cuma singkat, maklum lah udah umur 237 tahun, jadi pasti banyak lagi sahabat-sahabat yang sudah banyak berbagi untuk saya, apalagi yang ngucapin subuh-subuh lewat sms (Nayana (lu telfon ya Nay? telfon lagii! hehe), Nuning, Yani, Ibonk, Mayang, Prada) FB, twitter, dll yang menjadikan lukisan hari ini sungguh sangat indah. terima kasih untuk kalian semuahnyah :)

saya senang hari ini untuk semua doa-doanya, ngebayangin semua doa tadi ke tag ke facebook/twitter wall-nya God hahhaa…asiiiiik !!!!

im excited to see what’s heading my waay! ahiiy!

I call her…with her name. Yes, sometimes we call each other : Sis or Kakak, but that nickname does not really come from something sentimental. It was affected by some random online shop syndrome.

I see her…as a best friend. I don’t really know what she thought about this. Haha. Even for me, typing this line feels weird. It is because we don’t really do womenly moments together, like girl friends usually have. We never really cry together, or err how to explain this. My type of friendship with her is never the melancholic one. It is not that we are not that close. We do have many things doing or experiencing stuff together. It is like my sister and I, we don’t call each other with beautiful things, but no one should doubt the bond between us.

I know her…as an intimidating young woman. LOL. Hold on, I haven’t finished yet. Of course, intimidating in the positive way. This friend of mine is actually a multi-talented one. You can tell by your first meeting with her. Mine, hm let me dig my old memory… I remember our first convo, I asked her about her activity that afternoon. Her answer was: Ya, I am a radio announcer at Sky. Me was silencio. Well, you may call me overreacting, but in my sight it was a stunning image for a first year uni student.  And, that was her on my first 3 months in campus. The next year, she flew to the States, and achieved this, won this…and so on. Until now,

she never gives up her famous line calls: passion.

In her happy celebration today, I want to thank her for stuffing my head with the lesson about passion (not to mention her birthday present to me: a book about career and passion. Ha!). She is not type of ‘just saying’ person. She is not just telling me, but she is practically showing how to live the passion and never gets tired of it. She tries everything that she loves or interests her, and now, she enjoys the result. Sometimes I had the thought that she would have used too much of her time for that. But now, she is walking her way and getting nearer to the fulfillment of her passions.

I think this is my first and my last writing such melancholically (if there’s such term) about her. Haha. Again, it is not that we are not that close, it is just, yeah, you know. I write this because I think that this is the closest moment where life will kick her to the next stage. (yeea!)

I feel that I have the debt to remind her that she has done the best so far,

and that she will keep it up no matter what.

Oke. Now, really. I have to stop. You owe me, Cher! Haha.

I can imagine her first comment: Sio, there are many grammatical errors. Haha. Wtv. Happy Birthdaay… Enjoy yours yah, Cherikaa :)

Mungkin adalah sebuah kata yang bisa menjadi apa saja.

Bisa menjadi superhero di saat keadaan genting dan hampir mustahil.

Bisa juga menjadi tameng ketika diserang dengan ketidakpastian.

Dan bisa juga jadi jerat yang menahan dan membuat

yang tadinya mungkin, malah jadi tidak berhasil.

Hantuilah mungkin, buat dia sadar bahwa hidup bukan sekedar omong: mungkin.

Tapi jangan sampai dihantui mungkin, salah-salah malah terjebak dan membuat takut bahkan hanya untuk mengambil

satu  langkah   kecil.

***

(tulisan ini udah lama banget, tapi belum sempet di-post. sebuah tulisan yang terinspirasi dari sekelompok pria galau haha)

 I don’t have any picture of how his birth day was like. I can’t even spill out what time he was born, the weather of that day, or any detail that people tell could describe what a person will be in the future. Since it was 8 years later the independence day, I imagine that it was not happening in a steadily established environment.

Hmm. Whatever it was, 19^th May 1953 was his day. And tomorrow, is another day of his.

…

He has been there ever since I could remember something. I believe he was the first man who touched me with his big and warm hands. A few years after that, his hands guided me for my first walk. For the next ‘first thing’ in my life, his warm hands are always there. I always precious my childhood memory when he lifted me with his hands and swung me in his arms.

Those hands have taught me with discipline and the first who congratulate me whenever I do good job. His hands are the one who always pointed at considerate direction.

As far as I remember , there are no such excuse as “I am tired” or “ I am busy” whenever it is about family, to drive me to school or just to buy some rocky chocolate ice creams after his working hours.

His firm hands are the most imaginable description of how a man’s hands should be. Well, you can say that I am being too subjective in this part, but that’s how it is :)

One day, it was late at night and his hands were still busy with office documents.

I heard that he was just asleep at 4 am, but when I knocked his bedroom at 6, his hands were warmly opened to welcome me sneaking in to his blanket.

Not only I can feel the warmth, but I have also confessed the work of his hands.

In my honest thought, his hands are the most multi-talented hands in the world.

I miss watching his hands with cooking pot and spatula. Ah! And they are also handy with greens and other garden plants, to create a beautiful painting, or to write some thoughtful pages. 

…

For me, his hands are a blessing ; His existence is everything

Actually, I don’t feel to have the honor of writing about him. If I write a page, it could lessen the meaning of other thousand pages that I had in mind about him. For me, he is not only the one who leads the family.

He is my best partner for midnight talk, my courage, and my wise teacher. He always listens and he always knows. He means the world for a woman and their three children.

I am grateful that I have the right to call him ‘my’.

On his happy birthday today, I wish he will be blessed with the most content smile in this world and blissful days are ahead him. I pray that his hands will always become a blessing for his family and others.

…

Oh, and by the way, that man is my father…

…

Civil society in Indonesia is no longer stand behind the passive bars. They involve extensively in many sectors; trying to shout their voice in any possible way. When the elected president, Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, expressed his “stable” salary within the last 7 years, they challenged back. “Koin untuk Presiden” (Coins for the President) is one example. The recent HMI movement in Yogyakarta ended with pictures (SBY and Boediono) burnt  is another one. There are still many others. What do we expect to be the next?

A French politician, Alexis de Tocqueville mentioned that strong state comes from strong civil society. In other way, state and civil society are indispensable to each other. State needs public participation to sustain its existence, legitimacy and power. Civil society requires a realm of freedom to live, grow, and express their aspirations. Ideally, a state, through the governmental body, acts to serve people’s interest and civil society works as a counterbalance partner. At the end, democracy is sought to be the best environment for these two elements to live harmoniously.

Our civil society has grown vigorously since the momentum of 1998. In fact, democracy has fertiled the soil of public space; “kebebasan berpendapat”(freedom to express) is no longer a myth. As democracy believes “the more, the merrier”, more people are invited to respond actively on the ongoing issues. In Indonesia, it means: more mass protests, more critics, more violents.

The realm of freedom is expected to balance government’s domination. Not to say that people should only give benign inputs. What to concern is how prudent the people use the space, or as precisely stated by Professor Aleksius Jemadu “democracy without democratic people is nonsense”. It is time to show that people’s movement will give good to themselves and the country. In this way, government will count in their input openly and not coldly responding like Achsanul Qosasih in the media (Liputan 6 SCTV, January 27^th, 2011). The honorable member of House Representaive stated that the people has humiliated government as an institution and also the President himself.

It is called freedom, but it does not mean free-doom. To give an active respond, to create a mass movement, to throw critics are actually showing that Indonesian people is rising. They want to involve more because they caution for what this country is going to be. Indeed, Indonesian people are capable to do so. It will be beneficial if the capability chooses which issue to respond or what kind of movement to create. This realm of freedom, the freedom to express, does not exist to bring us backward. The people may protest for what is happening, but should count on what to be the next. They should be able to reach the stage of ending the problem in the future, together with the government.

Civil society is the heart of a state. If it stops beating, then the state is dying. If it beats too hard, it rises the state’s nerve. It is the same with sinking the body’s capability to live longer. If it beats constantly, then everyone shall enjoy a good living; if we are truly expected so.

Tonight’s writing is inspired by two girls talk at a coffee shop which I visited in this midday. I didn’t mean to overheard, it was just happened naturally. Now, I try to spill some thoughts based on their convo.

Love story is sometimes described like a fairy tale.

A hidden princess met a too-good-to-be-true prince in a romantic dance. It is always about flowery imagination.  It gives me curiosity why there is no such scene where Snow White argues with the Prince about him being late or ignores her because of playing PS 3.  

Love story is sometimes described as a struggle for power.

As if love is conducted by two state leaders who seek for the perfection of achievement.

Love story could also be described as seeking for completeness.

I imagine the man or the woman is like Woolworths who can provide anything that their partners need. How if one of them running out of stocks? Importing from others? Wew.

Love story might sometimes be described as a game.

I win and you lost. And when the game is over, the lovers are just staring at the blank screen, trying to decide whether they should start over or try another game.

Love story is like building a house.

This description was once said by my Dad. So it is like two people building a strong house, work hand in hand, step by step, until the house is ready to be lived in. Question is: how if the couple thinks of different plan? Man: A huge mansion! Woman: I want a small farm house.

I guess they will end up arguing until they lose the reason of building a house together. They are logically thinking in different kind of perspective, of course. But they can always choose to discuss and to agree. Haha. Guess you will say: whatatheory!

Books can write as perfect as they could about love story. Movies have shown more than enough about how touching love story is. Songs? Yeah, you know how love story has always become their number one inspiration.

What is love story?

I am a non-love story expert. I just taking advantage of watching people around me.

For me, everyone writes their own love story.

So, what is it actually?

In my simplest thought,

A love story is a story of two people who experience a new stage together, play their own role, and define what love story is…

Wait, you say it is like any other story?

Well, let’s read again.

It is a story of two people who experience a new stage together, play their own role, and define what love story is ,  with the love between them :)